Men’s Mental Health: How Masculinity Shapes Emotional Wellbeing

Men’s mental health has increasingly become a topic of discussion, but stigma and misunderstanding still surround it. Despite growing awareness, men are statistically less likely to seek help for mental health concerns and are at greater risk of suicide compared to women (Mental Health Foundation, 2022). A key factor influencing men’s mental wellbeing is the concept of masculinity—how society defines what it means to “be a man.”

From a young age, many men are taught to suppress their emotions, value self-reliance, and strive for strength and control. While these traits can sometimes be adaptive, they can also prevent men from seeking support and processing difficult feelings in healthy ways. Understanding how societal norms and a lack of emotional education shape men’s experiences is essential for helping men find healthier paths toward emotional wellbeing.

The Weight of Societal Norms

Masculinity, in its traditional form, is often associated with stoicism, competitiveness, and dominance (Mahalik et al., 2003). These expectations are deeply ingrained in cultural messages—boys are often told to “man up,” “don’t cry,” or “be strong.” While such ideals are not inherently harmful, they become problematic when they leave little room for vulnerability, fear, or sadness.

For many men, showing emotion beyond anger or confidence can feel like a threat to their identity. Emotional expression is sometimes perceived as weakness, leading men to internalize distress rather than seek support. Research shows that men who strongly conform to traditional masculine norms are less likely to seek therapy, more likely to delay help-seeking, and may engage in riskier behaviours to cope, such as substance misuse or aggression (Courtenay, 2000).

This cultural conditioning creates a double bind. On one hand, men may struggle silently with anxiety, depression, or trauma. On the other, they fear judgment if they show their pain openly. This isolation can be devastating—male suicide rates remain significantly higher than female rates worldwide, highlighting the urgency of addressing how masculinity intersects with mental health (World Health Organisation, 2022).

The Cost of Limited Emotional Education

Another challenge men face is the lack of early emotional education. In many families and schools, boys are not taught to identify, name, or regulate their emotions. While girls are often socialized to be more emotionally expressive and relational, boys may be rewarded for being tough or self-contained.

Without the language to articulate how they feel, men may default to shutting down or externalising their distress. For example:

• Stress may appear as irritability or anger rather than anxiety.

• Sadness may look like withdrawal rather than crying or verbal expression.

• Fear or vulnerability may be masked by overconfidence or avoidance.

This gap in emotional literacy can also impact relationships. Many men report feeling pressure to be the “protector” or “problem-solver” in their personal lives, leaving little space for their own emotional needs. Over time, this emotional disconnect can lead to loneliness, relational conflict, and a sense of emptiness—even when life appears “successful” on the surface.

What Men Bring to Therapy

When men do seek therapy, they often present with a range of concerns that, on the surface, may seem practical or situational but are deeply tied to emotional experiences. Some of the most common topics men bring to therapy include:

Work and identity pressures

Men often link their self-worth to productivity and career success. Job stress, burnout, or unemployment can trigger feelings of inadequacy or shame.

Relationship struggles

Difficulties with communication, intimacy, or trust are frequent reasons men seek help. Many express a desire to “be better partners” but feel unsure how to express emotions or navigate conflict.

Loneliness and social disconnection

While men may have social circles, they often lack deep, emotionally supportive friendships. Therapy can highlight the impact of isolation and help men build more meaningful connections.

Parenting and family dynamics

Fathers often grapple with balancing traditional provider roles with the desire to be emotionally present for their children.

Depression and anxiety

Men may report physical symptoms like fatigue, irritability, or sleep problems rather than acknowledging feelings of sadness or worry.

Anger and emotional regulation

Some men struggle with anger outbursts or suppressed rage, often linked to unprocessed pain or trauma.

Identity and self-esteem

Questions around masculinity, sexuality, or self-worth can emerge, particularly in midlife transitions or after significant life changes.

Trauma and grief

Many men carry unresolved trauma—whether from childhood experiences, military service, or relationship losses—and may feel unable to share these stories elsewhere.

By the time many men enter therapy, they have often been holding onto these struggles for years without support.

Without the language to articulate how they feel, men may default to shutting down or externalising their distress

How Therapy Can Help Men Reframe Masculinity

Therapy provides a confidential, non-judgmental space where men can explore the weight of societal expectations and the emotional burdens they carry. It can be a powerful way to redefine what strength and vulnerability mean.

Here’s how therapy can support men’s mental health:

Normalizing emotions

Therapy helps men understand that emotions are natural human responses, not signs of weakness. Learning to identify and express emotions can reduce the sense of internal pressure and isolation.

Building emotional literacy

Through reflection and dialogue, men develop a broader emotional vocabulary. This helps them communicate better in relationships and understand their own needs more clearly.

Challenging limiting beliefs

Many men hold rigid beliefs about masculinity—such as “I must handle everything on my own” or “I’m failing if I feel sad.” Therapy can gently challenge these narratives and open new possibilities.

Developing coping skills

Therapy offers tools for managing anxiety, depression, and stress without relying on avoidance or unhealthy coping mechanisms.

Improving relationships

As men become more attuned to their emotions, they often experience better connection with partners, friends, and family. This creates more fulfilling and authentic relationships.

Exploring identity safely

Therapy allows men to reflect on their identity—be it around gender, sexuality, career, or life purpose—without external pressure.

Healing trauma

For men who have experienced trauma, therapy provides a structured space for processing difficult memories and reducing the impact of past experiences on present life.

Over time, therapy can help men see that vulnerability is not the opposite of strength but an essential part of being whole.

Redefining Masculinity for Better Mental Health

While therapy helps on an individual level, broader cultural change is also essential. Redefining masculinity to include emotional openness, compassion, and self-awareness can reduce stigma and make mental health care more accessible.

Men need role models who demonstrate that strength includes asking for help, expressing emotion, and building supportive relationships. Community programs, schools, and workplaces can play a vital role by encouraging emotional education and normalizing conversations about mental health from a young age.

Ultimately, healthier forms of masculinity benefit not only men themselves but also the people and communities around them. When men are free to express their full humanity, they experience deeper connection, improved wellbeing, and a greater sense of purpose.

Taking the First Step

If you’re a man struggling with your mental health, know that you are not alone. It’s not a sign of weakness to reach out—it’s a step toward taking control of your life in a deeper, more authentic way. Therapy can help you untangle the pressures of masculinity, understand your emotions, and create a more balanced, fulfilling life.

Asking for support is one of the bravest decisions you can make.

About the Author

 Mark Ryan is a London-based psychotherapist and the founder of Rise and Grow Therapy. He specializes in helping men navigate emotional challenges, relationship dynamics, and identity concerns. As a member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP), Mark is passionate about creating safe, non-judgmental spaces where clients can explore their inner worlds and build more fulfilling lives.

References

• Courtenay, W. H. (2000). Constructions of masculinity and their influence on men’s well-being: A theory of gender and health. Social Science & Medicine, 50(10), 1385–1401.

• Mahalik, J. R., Burns, S. M., & Syzdek, M. (2007). Masculinity and perceived normative health behaviors as predictors of men’s health behaviors. Social Science & Medicine, 64(11), 2201–2209.

• Mental Health Foundation. (2022). Men’s mental health. Retrieved from https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk

• World Health Organization. (2022). Suicide worldwide in 2021: Global health estimates. WHO Press.