I'm Mark Ryan, a BACP Accredited Psychotherapist and NCPS Accredited Relationship Therapist working with couples, individuals, and polycules across London. This is where I write about the things that come up most often in the room. Jealousy. Coming out to a partner. Separation. Sex and intimacy. The ordinary arguments that usually aren't about what they first appear to be about.
Some of what's here is written for couples working through something together. Some of it is for one person trying to make sense of their own experience before bringing a partner into it. All of it is grounded in research and real clinical practice, not generic advice dressed up as insight.
Below, everything is grouped by topic if you're looking for something specific, or simply scroll through what's most recent. And if something here resonates, or you'd like support with what you're going through, I offer a free 30-minute consultation, in person in London or by video.
How to Talk to Your Partner About Sex: Asking for What You Want
Talking about sex with your partner can feel daunting, but research shows it's one of the most powerful things couples can do. Relationship therapist Mark Ryan explains how to start the conversation.
When Your Sex Drives Don't Match: Understanding Desire Discrepancy in Relationships
Mismatched libidos affect up to 80% of couples at some point. Relationship therapist Mark Ryan explains what desire discrepancy really means, why it happens, and how couples therapy can help.
Is Our Sex Life Normal? Understanding Sexual Desire and Intimacy in Relationships
Many couples carry a quiet anxiety about their sex life — wondering if what they have is "normal," but never quite finding the words to ask. This article explores why there is no universal benchmark for sexual desire, how the erotic and companionship dimensions of a relationship work differently, and what it means when desire shifts over time. An honest, shame-free introduction to one of the most important — and least spoken about — areas of relationship life.
Repair After a Fight: A Step-by-Step Guide to Rebuilding Safety and Trust
Conflict is inevitable in close relationships — but disconnection doesn’t have to be. This practical, step-by-step guide explores how couples can repair after a fight, rebuild emotional safety, and restore trust through intentional communication and empathy. Learn why repair matters more than being right, and how therapy can provide powerful tools to break negative cycles and strengthen long-term connection.
Surviving Christmas Without Falling Out: How Couples Can Navigate Conflict During the Holidays
Christmas can place unexpected strain on even the strongest relationships. Heightened expectations, family pressures, and emotional fatigue often mean conflict feels closer to the surface. This article explores why tensions rise at this time of year, how couples can navigate disagreements more gently, and when relationship therapy might help.
When One Partner Withdraws: Understanding Stonewalling and Emotional Shutdowns
A thoughtful look at what’s really happening when a partner shuts down, and how couples can move from disconnection to deeper understanding and repair.
Blame in Relationships: Why We Do It, How It Hurts, and What Therapy Can Offer
Blame can erode connection. Discover why it happens and how therapy can help couples reconnect.
Why Is It So Difficult to Talk About Sex and Desire in Relationships? And How Therapy Can Help
Talking about sex and desire in a relationship can feel awkward, even with the person you love most. Shame, fear of rejection, and silence often get in the way. As a couples therapist in London, I help partners open up, reconnect, and explore intimacy with honesty and care—because your desires matter, and so does your connection.