A 33 page guide with reflection pages for couples and individuals who want to talk more openly about sex, closeness and what they truly want. By Mark Ryan, BACP Accredited Psychotherapist and NCPS Accredited Relationship Therapist.
Talking about sex is hard. These 13 rules make it easier.
Talking about sex is hard for almost everyone. Most of us were never taught how, and the silence can become a habit that lasts for years.
This guide sets out thirteen principles from my work as a relationship therapist in London. They are not a technique or a programme. They are ideas that make conversations about intimacy and desire easier, kinder and more useful, whatever your gender, sexuality or relationship structure.
Each rule includes a short explanation, what the research says, what I hear from clients in session, and a reflection page with writing space. You can work through it alone and then share what you notice with a partner if you choose. Nobody should feel obliged to share anything.
What is inside
Your side of the table. Own your needs, know your story, choose pleasure over performance, and why fantasy is normal and not a to do list.
Between you. Why vulnerability needs safety, why no is a safe answer, how to talk about what you enjoy and want, and how to respond with curiosity and thanks.
Making it real. Why you should not wait for spontaneity, and how to make time for intimacy.
Perspective. Why sex is wider than intercourse, why not every time will be amazing, and why there is no finish line.
A note on safety with free helplines, signposting to further support, and a full reference list.
Who it is for
Couples who want a way to start the conversation.
Individuals who want to understand their own relationship to desire.
LGBTQ+ people and people in open or polyamorous relationships. The guide is written for you too.
People who are not ready for therapy, or cannot afford it, right now.
People already in therapy who want something to reflect on between sessions.
What it is not
This is an educational guide by a relationship therapist. It is not therapy, medical advice or treatment for a specific sexual difficulty, and it points you to your GP or a specialist sex therapist where that is the right next step. It contains no explicit images or erotic content. If you are afraid of your partner, please read the note on safety first, which includes free helplines.
Format and delivery
PDF, 33 pages, A4. It opens on any phone, tablet or computer with a PDF reader, and it prints well, with writing lines on the reflection pages.
Instant download after purchase, and the link is also emailed to you.
The download link expires after 24 hours, so please save the file straight away. If you have any trouble, email hello@riseandgrowtherapy.co.uk and I will send a fresh link.
Before you buy
This is a digital download that is supplied immediately. At checkout you will be asked to agree to receive it straight away and to confirm that you understand you lose your right to cancel once the download starts. If anything is wrong with the file, your legal rights are not affected. Our refund and cancellation policy is shown at checkout.
About the author
Mark Ryan is a BACP Accredited Psychotherapist and NCPS Accredited Relationship Therapist working in person across central London, from rooms in Pimlico, Kensington and Angel, through Rise and Grow Therapy™. His practice is integrative, sex positive and affirming of all relationship structures and identities.
A 33 page guide with reflection pages for couples and individuals who want to talk more openly about sex, closeness and what they truly want. By Mark Ryan, BACP Accredited Psychotherapist and NCPS Accredited Relationship Therapist.
Talking about sex is hard. These 13 rules make it easier.
Talking about sex is hard for almost everyone. Most of us were never taught how, and the silence can become a habit that lasts for years.
This guide sets out thirteen principles from my work as a relationship therapist in London. They are not a technique or a programme. They are ideas that make conversations about intimacy and desire easier, kinder and more useful, whatever your gender, sexuality or relationship structure.
Each rule includes a short explanation, what the research says, what I hear from clients in session, and a reflection page with writing space. You can work through it alone and then share what you notice with a partner if you choose. Nobody should feel obliged to share anything.
What is inside
Your side of the table. Own your needs, know your story, choose pleasure over performance, and why fantasy is normal and not a to do list.
Between you. Why vulnerability needs safety, why no is a safe answer, how to talk about what you enjoy and want, and how to respond with curiosity and thanks.
Making it real. Why you should not wait for spontaneity, and how to make time for intimacy.
Perspective. Why sex is wider than intercourse, why not every time will be amazing, and why there is no finish line.
A note on safety with free helplines, signposting to further support, and a full reference list.
Who it is for
Couples who want a way to start the conversation.
Individuals who want to understand their own relationship to desire.
LGBTQ+ people and people in open or polyamorous relationships. The guide is written for you too.
People who are not ready for therapy, or cannot afford it, right now.
People already in therapy who want something to reflect on between sessions.
What it is not
This is an educational guide by a relationship therapist. It is not therapy, medical advice or treatment for a specific sexual difficulty, and it points you to your GP or a specialist sex therapist where that is the right next step. It contains no explicit images or erotic content. If you are afraid of your partner, please read the note on safety first, which includes free helplines.
Format and delivery
PDF, 33 pages, A4. It opens on any phone, tablet or computer with a PDF reader, and it prints well, with writing lines on the reflection pages.
Instant download after purchase, and the link is also emailed to you.
The download link expires after 24 hours, so please save the file straight away. If you have any trouble, email hello@riseandgrowtherapy.co.uk and I will send a fresh link.
Before you buy
This is a digital download that is supplied immediately. At checkout you will be asked to agree to receive it straight away and to confirm that you understand you lose your right to cancel once the download starts. If anything is wrong with the file, your legal rights are not affected. Our refund and cancellation policy is shown at checkout.
About the author
Mark Ryan is a BACP Accredited Psychotherapist and NCPS Accredited Relationship Therapist working in person across central London, from rooms in Pimlico, Kensington and Angel, through Rise and Grow Therapy™. His practice is integrative, sex positive and affirming of all relationship structures and identities.
