I'm Mark Ryan, a BACP Accredited Psychotherapist and NCPS Accredited Relationship Therapist working with couples, individuals, and polycules across London. This is where I write about the things that come up most often in the room. Jealousy. Coming out to a partner. Separation. Sex and intimacy. The ordinary arguments that usually aren't about what they first appear to be about.
Some of what's here is written for couples working through something together. Some of it is for one person trying to make sense of their own experience before bringing a partner into it. All of it is grounded in research and real clinical practice, not generic advice dressed up as insight.
Below, everything is grouped by topic if you're looking for something specific, or simply scroll through what's most recent. And if something here resonates, or you'd like support with what you're going through, I offer a free 30-minute consultation, in person in London or by video.
How to Separate or Divorce Without Destroying Yourself or Each Other
Nobody plans to make their separation painful. But most people do, without meaning to. A London couples therapist on what a good separation looks like, and how to get there.
Life After Separation: How to Start Again
Most people expect to feel sad after a separation. Fewer expect to feel lost. A London therapist on what individual therapy offers when a relationship has run its course.
Co-Parenting After Separation: Keeping Communication Working When the Relationship Hasn't
You don't have to like each other to co-parent well. But you do have to communicate. This piece looks at what gets in the way, what research says works, and what to do when it isn't working.
Telling the Kids About Separation: How and When
Telling the kids about separation is one of the hardest conversations separating parents face. A London couples therapist on timing, what to say at each age, and how to make the conversation as safe as possible.
Should We Stay Together for the Kids?
‘Should We Stay Together for the Kids? ‘ is one of the questions couples who are also parents ask most and answer least honestly. A London couples therapist on what the research says, and what matters for children.
Can a Trial Separation Save a Relationship? The Case For and Against
Weighing up a trial separation? A London couples therapist sets out the genuine case for and against, what the research actually shows, and how therapy can help either way.
How to Know When a Relationship Is Over
Wondering if your relationship is over? A London couples therapist looks at what’s really being weighed when this question won’t go away, and what can help.