I'm Mark Ryan, a BACP Accredited Psychotherapist and NCPS Accredited Relationship Therapist working with couples, individuals, and polycules across London. This is where I write about the things that come up most often in the room. Jealousy. Coming out to a partner. Separation. Sex and intimacy. The ordinary arguments that usually aren't about what they first appear to be about.
Some of what's here is written for couples working through something together. Some of it is for one person trying to make sense of their own experience before bringing a partner into it. All of it is grounded in research and real clinical practice, not generic advice dressed up as insight.
Below, everything is grouped by topic if you're looking for something specific, or simply scroll through what's most recent. And if something here resonates, or you'd like support with what you're going through, I offer a free 30-minute consultation, in person in London or by video.
Narcissist, Avoidant, Anxious: Why the Label Lets Everyone Off the Hook
Why calling your partner (or yourself) a narcissist, avoidant, or anxiously attached often gets in the way of the honest conversation, and the real change, you need. A London relationship therapist outlines the challenges with labels and how therapy can help.
The Anxious-Avoidant Trap: When These Two Attachment Styles Collide
Why anxious and avoidant partners so often end up together, and how the cycle between them works. A London relationship therapist on what breaks it.
Avoidant Attachment in Relationships: Dating, Hard Conversations, and Conflict
How avoidant attachment shows up, in who you're drawn to, hard conversations, and arguments. A London relationship therapist explains, with practical next steps.
Anxious Attachment in Relationships: Dating, Hard Conversations, and Conflict
How anxious attachment shows up, in who you're drawn to, hard conversations, and arguments. A London relationship therapist explains, with practical next steps.
How Secure Attachment Shapes Adult Relationships (and Why It’s Never Too Late to Heal)
Secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganised: a London couples therapist explains the four adult attachment styles, how they shape relationships, and how earned security develops in therapy.