Relationship advice & insights.
I'm Mark Ryan, a BACP Accredited Psychotherapist and NCPS Accredited Relationship Therapist working with relationships, couples, individuals, and polycules across London. This is where I write about the things that come up most often in the therapy room; jealousy, coming out to a partner, separation, sex and intimacy, and the ordinary arguments that usually aren't about what they first appear to be about.
Some of what's here is written for couples working through something together. Some of it is for one person trying to make sense of their own experience before bringing a partner into it. All of it is grounded in research and real clinical practice, not generic advice dressed up as insight.
Browse the archive.
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- Attachment 7
- Attachment and Patterns 2
- Communication 5
- Communication and conflict 7
- Consensual Non Monogamy 2
- Couples therapy London 66
- Emotional Abuse 3
- Ethical Non Monogamy 2
- Infidelity & Betrayal 5
- Jealousy 3
- LGBT+ Therapy 19
- LGBTQ+ Couples 13
- Labels 4
- Mental Health and Wellbeing 19
- Money and Relationships 4
- Non-Monogamy and Open Relationships 1
- Parenting 3
- Polyamory 2
- Pre-Marital Therapy London 1
- Relationship Therapy London 1
- Relationship therapy London 64
- Separation and Divorce 7
- Sex and Intimacy 8
- Summer 4
- Trust and Repair 4
Coming Out to Your Partner
A London relationship therapist on coming out to your partner, what tends to happen next, and why it doesn't automatically mean the relationship is over.
Am I Heteroflexible? Questioning Your ‘Straightness’ And What It Means for Your Relationship
A London relationship therapist on heteroflexibility, what the research shows, how it differs from bisexuality, and what it means for your relationship.
Is My Partner Gay? My Partner Is Questioning Their Sexuality
A London relationship therapist unpacks what it can feel like for the partner of someone questioning their sexuality, what it does and doesn't mean, why the silence happens, and what helps.
Am I Gay? Questioning Your Sexuality While in a Relationship
A London relationship therapist on noticing same-sex attraction while partnered, what it might mean, why you don't need an answer yet, and how therapy can help.
Gay Open Relationships: A Therapist’s View
A London relationship therapist on non-monogamy in gay male couples: the different agreement types, where they tend to break down, and what helps.
Jealousy in Non-Monogamous Relationships
A London relationship therapist on jealousy in polyamorous and open relationships: what it looks like, what compersion is, and why opening up doesn't switch jealousy off.
Why Is My Partner So Jealous? Living With a Jealous Partner
For the partner on the receiving end of jealousy: what is driving it, why your reassurance never settles it, what it is costing you, and what you can change.
Why Am I So Jealous? Understanding Jealousy in Relationships
A London relationship therapist on what jealousy does inside a couple, why reassurance and checking make it worse, and when the feeling is telling you the truth.
The Summer Slump: When the Relationship Feels Flat in Long Days
Long summer evenings can expose a flatness in a relationship that the rest of the year hides. A London therapist on what flatness means, and what it doesn't.
Sex on Holiday: Why It Doesn't Always Live Up to Expectations
You expected the holiday to revive your sex life. It didn't. A London relationship therapist on why that's common, what's underneath it, and what helps.
When Summer Exposes the Cracks: What to Do With What Comes Up
A difficult summer can surface things you had been managing not to see. A London relationship therapist on how to use post-summer clarity well.
Porn Addiction and Relationships: A Therapist's Guide
Porn addiction is a contested term, but the distress it names is real. A London relationship therapist on what helps couples and individuals work through the impact of porn use.
Summer and Infidelity: What the Research Actually Says
Online claims about summer affairs are often overstated. A London relationship therapist on what the research really shows, and what it does and doesn't mean.
When You Realise You Have Nothing Left to Say to Each Other
Long silences with your partner can feel terminal, but they rarely are. A London relationship therapist on what conversational drift actually means.
Surviving the School Holidays as a Couple: Why Six Weeks Together Is Harder Than It Looks
Six weeks of school holidays is a stress test most couples don't expect. A London relationship therapist on why it strains things, and what helps.
Why Couples Argue More on Holiday (and What to Do About It)
Holidays expose what everyday life hides. A London relationship therapist on why couples argue more on holiday, what's underneath it, and what helps.
If You Don't Want Couples Therapy: An Honest Guide for the Sceptic
If your partner wants couples therapy and you don't, you are not unusual. A London relationship therapist on what to actually expect, for the sceptic.
What to Do When Your Partner Won't Go to Couples Therapy
Partner reluctant about couples therapy? A London relationship therapist on what helps, what doesn't, and what to read together before deciding.
How to Choose a Couples Therapist in London: A Practical Guide
A practical guide to choosing a couples therapist in London. Credentials, modality, fit, location, cost, and what to ask in a consultation.
Why couples argue about money (and what to do about it)
Money is the top predictor of relationship breakdown. A London relationship therapist explains why money arguments hit so hard, what UK couples are really fighting about, and what helps.