Relationship advice & insights.
I'm Mark Ryan, a BACP Accredited Psychotherapist and NCPS Accredited Relationship Therapist working with couples, individuals, and polycules across London. This is where I write about the things that come up most often in the room — jealousy, coming out to a partner, separation, sex and intimacy, and the ordinary arguments that usually aren't about what they first appear to be about.
Some of what's here is written for couples working through something together. Some of it is for one person trying to make sense of their own experience before bringing a partner into it. All of it is grounded in research and real clinical practice, not generic advice dressed up as insight.
Browse the archive.
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- Attachment 5
- Attachment and Patterns 2
- Communication 5
- Communication and conflict 7
- Consensual Non Monogamy 2
- Couples therapy London 63
- Emotional Abuse 2
- Ethical Non Monogamy 2
- Infidelity & Betrayal 5
- Jealousy 3
- LGBT+ Therapy 19
- LGBTQ+ Couples 13
- Labels 2
- Mental Health and Wellbeing 19
- Money and Relationships 4
- Non-Monogamy and Open Relationships 1
- Parenting 3
- Polyamory 2
- Pre-Marital Therapy London 1
- Relationship Therapy London 1
- Relationship therapy London 61
- Separation and Divorce 7
- Sex and Intimacy 8
- Summer 4
- Trust and Repair 4
Is My Ex a Narcissist? What Social Media Gets Wrong
Why the narcissist label feels so satisfying after a breakup, what it costs you, and how to look honestly at what happened instead. A London relationship therapist explains.
Narcissist, Avoidant, Anxious: Why the Label Lets Everyone Off the Hook
Why calling your partner (or yourself) a narcissist, avoidant, or anxiously attached often gets in the way of the honest conversation, and the real change, you need. A London relationship therapist outlines the challenges with labels and how therapy can help.
I Just Found Out My Partner Cheated: The First Two Weeks
What to do, and what not to rush, in the first two weeks after discovering an affair. A London relationship therapist on getting through the acute stage.
Emotional Affairs: Why They Hurt as Much as Physical Ones
Why an emotional affair can hurt as much as a physical one, and why nothing happened doesn't mean nothing went wrong. A London relationship therapist explains.
Affairs and Betrayals: A Year Later, What Does Healing Look Like?
It's been a year since the affair. What healing looks like at this point, and why it isn't the same as going back to normal. A London relationship therapist explains.
The Anxious-Avoidant Trap: When These Two Attachment Styles Collide
Why anxious and avoidant partners so often end up together, and how the cycle between them works. A London relationship therapist on what breaks it.
Avoidant Attachment in Relationships: Dating, Hard Conversations, and Conflict
How avoidant attachment shows up, in who you're drawn to, hard conversations, and arguments. A London relationship therapist explains, with practical next steps.
Anxious Attachment in Relationships: Dating, Hard Conversations, and Conflict
How anxious attachment shows up, in who you're drawn to, hard conversations, and arguments. A London relationship therapist explains, with practical next steps.
Coercive Control vs Conflict: Knowing the Difference
A London relationship therapist on how professionals and the law distinguish coercive control from ordinary relationship conflict, and why the difference changes what kind of help is appropriate.
Signs of Emotional Abuse in a Relationship
What emotional abuse looks like in a relationship, what it isn't, and how to tell the difference. A London couples and relationship therapist explains.
Telling My Partner I'm Trans
Working out how and when to tell your partner you're trans. A London couples therapist on timing, handling their reaction, and what helps early on.
My Partner Is Transitioning: What It Means for Your Relationship
Your partner has come out as trans. A London couples therapist on what changes, what the grief means, and how to work out if you're still compatible.
Lesbian Bed Death Isn't Real, and Here's Why
Research doesn't support the lesbian bed death myth. A London relationship therapist on what's going on in couples experiencing declining sexual frequency.
Lesbian Couples Therapy and What to Expect
A London relationship therapist on lesbian couples therapy, what tends to show up in the room, and why your problems aren't automatically about being lesbian.
Mixed-Orientation Relationships and How Couples Stay Together
A London relationship therapist on mixed-orientation relationships after a partner comes out, what tends to change, and why staying together isn't settling.
Bisexual Erasure in Relationships and Why It Happens
A London relationship therapist on bisexual erasure in relationships, how it shows up differently for men and women, and what making real space looks like.
Am I Bisexual? What It Means and What Happens Next
A London relationship therapist on working out whether you're bisexual, what the research says, and what it means if this comes up inside a relationship.
Coming Out to Your Partner
A London relationship therapist on coming out to your partner, what tends to happen next, and why it doesn't automatically mean the relationship is over.
Am I Heteroflexible? Questioning Your ‘Straightness’ And What It Means for Your Relationship
A London relationship therapist on heteroflexibility, what the research shows, how it differs from bisexuality, and what it means for your relationship.
Is My Partner Gay? My Partner Is Questioning Their Sexuality
A London relationship therapist unpacks what it can feel like for the partner of someone questioning their sexuality, what it does and doesn't mean, why the silence happens, and what helps.