I'm Mark Ryan, a BACP Accredited Psychotherapist and NCPS Accredited Relationship Therapist working with couples, individuals, and polycules across London. This is where I write about the things that come up most often in the room. Jealousy. Coming out to a partner. Separation. Sex and intimacy. The ordinary arguments that usually aren't about what they first appear to be about.
Some of what's here is written for couples working through something together. Some of it is for one person trying to make sense of their own experience before bringing a partner into it. All of it is grounded in research and real clinical practice, not generic advice dressed up as insight.
Below, everything is grouped by topic if you're looking for something specific, or simply scroll through what's most recent. And if something here resonates, or you'd like support with what you're going through, I offer a free 30-minute consultation, in person in London or by video.
How to Stop Arguing with Your Partner: A Guide to Breaking the Cycle
Every couple argues. But when the same fights keep happening with no resolution, something deeper is at play. Relationship therapist Mark Ryan explains what drives conflict cycles and how to break them.
Is Couples Therapy Worth It? What the Research Says
Thinking about couples therapy but not sure if it actually works? Relationship therapist Mark Ryan looks at what the evidence says, who it helps most, and when to go.
After Betrayal: How Couples Can Heal from Infidelity and Rebuild Trust
If your relationship has been rocked by infidelity, you need honest guidance. A BACP Accredited London therapist on what recovery actually involves.
How to Talk to Your Partner About Sex: Asking for What You Want
Talking about sex with your partner can feel daunting, but research shows it's one of the most powerful things couples can do. Relationship therapist Mark Ryan explains how to start the conversation.
When Your Sex Drives Don't Match: Understanding Desire Discrepancy in Relationships
Mismatched libidos affect up to 80% of couples at some point. Relationship therapist Mark Ryan explains what desire discrepancy really means, why it happens, and how couples therapy can help.
Is Our Sex Life Normal? Understanding Sexual Desire and Intimacy in Relationships
Many couples carry a quiet anxiety about their sex life — wondering if what they have is "normal," but never quite finding the words to ask. This article explores why there is no universal benchmark for sexual desire, how the erotic and companionship dimensions of a relationship work differently, and what it means when desire shifts over time. An honest, shame-free introduction to one of the most important — and least spoken about — areas of relationship life.
Repair After a Fight: A Step-by-Step Guide to Rebuilding Safety and Trust
Conflict is inevitable in close relationships — but disconnection doesn’t have to be. This practical, step-by-step guide explores how couples can repair after a fight, rebuild emotional safety, and restore trust through intentional communication and empathy. Learn why repair matters more than being right, and how therapy can provide powerful tools to break negative cycles and strengthen long-term connection.
Surviving Christmas Without Falling Out: How Couples Can Navigate Conflict During the Holidays
Christmas can place unexpected strain on even the strongest relationships. Heightened expectations, family pressures, and emotional fatigue often mean conflict feels closer to the surface. This article explores why tensions rise at this time of year, how couples can navigate disagreements more gently, and when relationship therapy might help.
When One Partner Withdraws: Understanding Stonewalling and Emotional Shutdowns
A thoughtful look at what’s really happening when a partner shuts down, and how couples can move from disconnection to deeper understanding and repair.
The Four Communication Styles That Harm Relationships: Gottman's Communication Patterns and How to Change Them
Criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. A London couples therapist explains the four communication patterns Gottman's research links to relationship breakdown, and the antidotes that actually work.
How Secure Attachment Shapes Adult Relationships (and Why It’s Never Too Late to Heal)
Secure, anxious, avoidant, disorganised: a London couples therapist explains the four adult attachment styles, how they shape relationships, and how earned security develops in therapy.
Why doesn’t my partner listen to me? What the Research Says (and How to Fix It)
Feeling unheard in your relationship? A London couples therapist explains what the research actually says about listening, the demand-withdraw cycle, and how to get your partner to engage.
What Is Consensual Non-Monogamy? Modern Love, Many Forms
A London relationship therapist on the many forms non-monogamy takes, what the research shows, and what to expect from affirming relationship therapy.
Blame in Relationships: Why We Do It, How It Hurts, and What Therapy Can Offer
Blame can erode connection. Discover why it happens and how therapy can help couples reconnect.
Always On: Reclaiming Your Mental Health from Phones and Social Media
In a world of constant pings and endless scrolling, our relationship with phones and social media is reshaping how we think, feel, and connect. This post explores the impact of digital habits on mental health, sleep, anxiety, and relationship intimacy—drawing from therapeutic insight at Rise and Grow Therapy. Whether you’re feeling overstimulated, disconnected from your partner, or simply tired of being “always on,” this guide offers practical strategies to help you reclaim your attention and build a healthier, more intentional relationship with technology.
Why Is It So Difficult to Talk About Sex and Desire in Relationships? And How Therapy Can Help
Talking about sex and desire in a relationship can feel awkward, even with the person you love most. Shame, fear of rejection, and silence often get in the way. As a couples therapist in London, I help partners open up, reconnect, and explore intimacy with honesty and care—because your desires matter, and so does your connection.
What to Expect from Couples Therapy: A Realistic Guide from a London Therapist
What does couples therapy actually involve? A London relationship therapist explains the assessment, the working phase, the ending, how long it takes, and what real progress looks like.
Why Do I Keep Ending Up in the Same Relationship? The Hidden Logic of Partner Choice
Different partners, same pattern? A London couples therapist explains the research on unconscious partner choice, the childhood blueprint behind it, and how the cycle can be broken.
Why Some Couples Experience More Relationship Problems In Winter Months – And How Therapy Can Help
Winter can be a beautiful time of year—cozy evenings, twinkling lights, celebrations, and the promise of a fresh start with the new year. However, for some couples, the colder months bring more than just frosty mornings; they also bring tension, disconnection, fights and conflict.
If you’ve found yourself arguing more, feeling distant from your partner, or struggling with low energy in your relationship, you’re not alone. Many couples experience an increase in conflict during winter, and the reasons go deeper than just the change in weather.
Let’s explore why couples tend to struggle in winter and, more importantly, how therapy can help strengthen your relationship during these difficult months.